Riding Bike

Riding Bike

Riding Bike

A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets word that he is to return home. He thinks that the one thing he never did was to teach these natives how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest.

He points to a tree and tells the chief, 'this is a tree.' The chief looks at the tree and grunts, 'tree.'

The missionary is pleased with the response. They walk a little farther and the padre points to a rock and says, 'this is a rock.'

At which the chief looks and grunts, 'rock.'

The padre is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peaks over the top he sees a couple in the midst of heavy romantic activity. The padre is really flustered and quickly responds, 'riding a bike.'

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blow gun and kills them. The padre goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilised and kind to each other, so could he kill these people. The chief replied, 'my bike.'

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Missionary Position

A lady goes to see her doctor and says, "Doc, my back really hurts when I have sex."

The doctor says, "Which position do you use?"
The lady says, "We always do it doggie style."

The doctor says, That's your problem. Try using the missionary position."
She says, "I can't do that. My dog has terrible breath."

A company is like a tree

A company is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs, at different levels, some climbing up, some climbing down.

The monkeys on the top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.

The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

2 Italians

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation (as they do). The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Two asses, they come together.
I come again.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come once-a-more."

"You foul mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly."In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Ima justa tellun my friend how do to spella Mississippi."

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