Teacher : "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"

Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime."

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Old Age Discussion

Three old women are talking about their aches, pains and bodily dysfunctions.

One seventy-five year old woman says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee."

An eighty year old woman says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement."

The ninety year old woman says, "At seven I pee like a horse, at eight I crap like a cow."

"So what's your problem?" asked the others.

"I don't wake up until nine."

Twice a Year

My mother-in-law visits me only twice a year...... Lucky naa ...

But each time she stays for six months.

You and Me

For a couple of years I've been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies. But now I found out the real reason. I'm tired because I'm overworked...

The population of this country is ONE Billion. 470 million are retired. That leaves 530 million to do the work. There are 299 million in school which leaves 231 million to do the work. Of this there are 109 million employed by the Federal Government. This leaves 122 million to do the work.

107 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 15 million to do the work. Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City goverments and that leaves 200,000 to do the work.

There are 188,000 in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work. Now, there are 11,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work, you and me. And YOU are just sitting here playing around on the web.

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