Questions & Answers

Questions & Answers

Q: How can a woman tell if she is flat chested?
A: She will look down her dress and the two bumps she sees are her knees.

Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women ?
A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with the them.

Q: Why can't you trust a woman?
A: How can you trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die?

Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A. You can unscrew a light bulb.

Q: Why do women close their eyes during sex?
A: They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.

Q: How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex?
A: Wipe your dick on the curtains.

Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: They want to.

Q: What are the small bumps around a woman's nipples for?
A: Its Braille for "suck here".

Q: Why did God give men penises?
A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.

Q: What is an Australian kiss?
A: It is the same as a French kiss but only down under.

Q: How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
A: When she has to chew before swallowing it.

Q: Define Bra?[simple words]
A: A modern device used for the upliftment of the downfallen ones.

Q: Define a Bra? [rhyming ]
A: Under shoulder boulder holder.

Q: What do you do with 365 used condoms?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.

Q: Why girls rub their eyes when they getup in the morning?
A: They don't have balls to scratch.

Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A: "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."

Q: Why is the dick called a rumour in America?
A: It goes from mouth to mouth.

Q. Why do women fart after taking a piss?
A: Since they can't shake it, they have to blow dry!

Why do women wear perfume and make up?
A: Because they're ugly and they stink

More Sexy Jokes

Sex - Work or Fun

A general, a colonel and a major were having a heated argument on the subject of sex.

The general maintained that sex was 60% work and 40% fun.
The colonel said that it was 75% work and 25% fun.
The major thought it was 90% work and only 10% fun.

At the height of the argument, a private appeared at the doorsteps. "let's leave it to him", said the major.

The private listened carefully and said with an air of absolute finaliy, "if you'll pardon me, sirs, sex is 100% fun and no work at all".

"how do you figure that"? Cried the astonished officers.

"it is very simple", said the private. "if there was any work in sex at all, you guys would have me doing it for you."

John, bastard

Once a girl went to a church to confess something. The priest asked her what she wanted to confess. She said that she had called a guy, named John, bastard.

On this the priest asked why? The girl said :

"I met a handsome boy in a hotel. We got in a mood to have sex. He took me to his room. He opened my shirt".

The priest asked : "like this"? And opened her shirt.
The girl said : "yes. Then he took off my pant and then his own shirt".

The priest asked : "like this"? And did the same.
The girl said : "yes. Then he took off his pant and my bra."

The priest asked : "like this"? And did the same.
The girl said : "yes then he took off his underwear and my panties".

The priest asked : "like this"? And did the same.
The girl said : "yes then he inserted his penis into my vagina several times".

The priest asked : "like this"? And did the same.
The girl said : "yes"

The priest said : "So what is wrong in this evberybody does this. Why did you call him a bastard?
The girl said : "I asked him if he had ---- aids ----? And he said ----- yes -----".

On this the priest said :: "john you bastard".

Virgin or ....

A typical fat boy is hanging out at his house's raging party when he notices a very attractive girl standing by herself. Being drunk enough to have nerve, he starts talking to her and pretty soon they're dancing. As the night progresses, they go back to his room and start getting it on immediately.

Afterwards, the fat boy says, "Gee, if I'd known you were a virgin, I would have gone slower."

"Honey," the girl replies, "If I thought you could control yourself a little longer, I would've taken off my panties."

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