"Doc" says Arthur, "I want to be castrated."

"What on earth for?", asks the doctor in amazement.

"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done", replies Arthur.

"But have you thought it through properly?", asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!"

"I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind - either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor."

"Well, OK.", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgment!" So Arthur has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way.

"Hi there", says Arthur, "It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me." "Well", said the patient, "I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised."

Arthur stared at him in horror. "Damn, THAT'S the word!!!"

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This middle-aged woman went to see her doctor.

"Well, what's the trouble?"
"Doctor, it's headache, shooting pains in my legs & high blood pressure."

"How old are you?" asked the doctor.
"I'll be 26 on my next birthday."

"Hmmm...," said the doctor, busy writing, "loss of memory too."

Doctor's First Night

A doctor on his first night of marriage goes closer to his wife, holds her and starts shaking her hard.

The wife puzzled asks him, "What's wrong with you, have you gone crazy or what"

The husband replies "i am a doctor and i always follow the instructions "Shake well before use".

Medical Test

A lady rushes into the veterinarian and screams, "I found my dog unconscious and I can't wake him -- do something."

The vet lays the dog on the examination table and after a few simple tests he says, "I'm sorry, I don't feel a pulse, I'm afraid your dog is dead".

The lady can't accept this and says, "No, no, he can't be dead -- do something else."

The vet goes into the other room, and comes back with a little cat. The cat jumps up on the table and starts sniffing the dog from head to toe. It sniffs and sniffs up and down the dog, then all of a sudden just stops and jumps off the table and leaves. "Well, that confirms it," the vet says, "your dog is dead."

The lady is very upset but finally settles down. "Okay, I guess you're right. How much do I owe you?" The vet says, "That will be $340."

The lady has a fit and asks, "Why is it so much? After all the vet didn't do anything for the dog."

"Well", the vet replied, "it's $40 for the office visit and $300 for the CAT SCAN!"

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