A man returned home from the night shift and went straight up to the bedroom. He found his wife with the sheet pulled over her head, fast asleep. Not to be denied, the horny husband crawled under the sheet and proceeded to make love to her.
Afterward, as he hurried down- stairs for something to eat, he was startled to find breakfast on the table and his wife pouring coffee. "How'd you get down her so fast?" he asked.
"We were just making love!"
"Oh my God," his wife gasped, "That's my mother up there! She came over early and had complained of having a headache. I told her to lie down for a while."
Rushing upstairs, the wife ran to the bedroom. "Mother, I can't believe this happened.
Why didn't you say something?"
The mother-in-law huffed, "I haven't spoken to that jerk for fifteen years, and I wasn't about to start now!"
More Stupid Jokes
Similarity between sun and panty?
1 Both are hot.
2 Both look great when coming down.
3 Both disappears at night.
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
College : A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.
Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
And now Some real facts:
The sentence "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the english language.
Typewriter, is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
The other day, while I was seeing my mate, he asked me what I looked for in a woman. Naturally I replied, "Big tits."
She said, "No, I meant for a serious relationship."
So I said, "Oh, seriously big tits."
"No, no, no. I mean what do you look for in the one woman you want to spend the rest of your life with?"
She looked at me kind of worried as I just sat there on his couch laughing until my gut hurt.
"Spend the rest of my life with one woman? No woman's tits are that big."