"Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a suit.
"This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter," said one.
"No! He agreed to marry My daughter," said the other.
And so they haggled before the King until he called for silence.
"Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall chop the young attorney in half.
Each of you shall receive a half." "Sounds good to me," said the first lady.
But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill the innocent blood, let the other woman's daughter marry him."
The wise king did not hesitate a moment.
"The attorney must marry the first lady's daughter," he proclaimed.
"But she was willing to chop him in two!" exclaimed the king's court.
"Indeed," said wise King Solomon, "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law."
More Marriage Jokes
Q:) What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A:) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
A mother had three daughters and on their wedding she asked each one of them to write home and tell her about their married life.
The first wrote back on the second day. The letter arrived with a single message, "Maxwell Coffee-house". The mother is confused but finally noticed a Maxwell coffee ad, and it said: "Satisfaction to the last drop", so the Mother was happy.
The second daughter got married and after a week she sent home her reply. The message read; "Rothmans". So the mother looks for the Rothmans ad, and it says; "LIFE SIZE, KINGSIZE". And Mother is happy.
Then it was the third one's wedding. Mother was anxious. It took 4 weeks for a message to come through. When it did the message was simply "BRITISH AIRWAYS". Mother was so concerned. She frantically went through all the newspapers at home looking for a BA ad. She found one and fainted.
The ad read: "TWO TIMES A DAY, SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, BOTH WAYS"!
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.
I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37.
Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."