Nudist Colony

Nudist Colony

Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

Q. Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
A. She is the one who can eat the last donut!

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Three Guys

Three guys: a Canadian, Osama bin Laden, and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it.

"I will give each of you each one wish. That's three wishes total," says the genie.

The Canadian says, "I'm a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."

With a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.

Bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews, or Americans can come into our precious state."

Again, with a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.

"Uncle Sam" (A former civil engineer), asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick, and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out - it's virtually impenetrable."

Uncle Sam says, "Please fill it with water."

Rent Paid?

"That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker," the housewife told a neighbour.

"You didn't do it, did you?"

"I have to admit I did -- though with certain misgivings, I might add. What I haven't done, though, is tell my husband the rent is now paid up for nine months!"

Types of farters

A person who loves the smell of his own farts

A person who loves the smell of other people's farts

A person who thinks his farts are exceptionally fine

A person who releases silent farts and then blushes

A person who boldly farts out loud and then laughs

A person who tries awfully hard to fart but poops instead

A person who farts regularly but is only concerned about pollution

A person who stops in the middle of his fart

A person who admits he farted but offers good medical reasons

A person who farts and then blames the dog

A person who suppresses a fart for hours and hours

A person who has several good farts in reserve

A person who excuses himself and farts in complete privacy

A person who conceals his farts with loud coughing

A person who farts in bed and then fluffs the cover over his bedmate

A person who can determine from the smell of his neighbor's fart precisely the latest food item consumed

A person who farts at the slightest exertion

A person who would truly love to, but can't fart at all

A person who farts and then starts crying

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