Mr. Jones has an operation on his throat, so the only way he can get nourishment is to be force-fed with a machine, through the rectum. After three days of this, Mr. Jones calls for the nurse.
He groans, "Nurse, is there another one of these machines in the hospital?"
She says, "Yes, sir."
He asks, "Could you roll it in here?"
She says, "Of course, sir. But why?"
He grunts, "I want you too have lunch with me tomorrow."
More Stupid Jokes
Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
Q. Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
A. She is the one who can eat the last donut!
Three guys: a Canadian, Osama bin Laden, and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it.
"I will give each of you each one wish. That's three wishes total," says the genie.
The Canadian says, "I'm a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."
With a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.
Bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews, or Americans can come into our precious state."
Again, with a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.
"Uncle Sam" (A former civil engineer), asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick, and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out - it's virtually impenetrable."
Uncle Sam says, "Please fill it with water."
"That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker," the housewife told a neighbour.
"You didn't do it, did you?"
"I have to admit I did -- though with certain misgivings, I might add. What I haven't done, though, is tell my husband the rent is now paid up for nine months!"