Screw Anyone

Screw Anyone

A man walks into a bar. He sees a good looking, smartly dressed woman perched on a bar stool.

He walks up behind her and says: "Hi there good looking, how's it going?"

She turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says: "Listen, I'll screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, it doesn't matter. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college. I just flat out love it."

He says: "No kidding?, I'm a lawyer too! What firm are you with?"

More Lawyer Jokes


Q. Whats the difference between an lawyer and a dog?
A. Drivers will swerve to miss the dog.

Q. Whats the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A. The lawyer charges more.

Q. Why did God invent lawyers?
A. So that realtors would have someone to look down on.

Court Room

There was a lot of shouting going on in the court.

JUDGE: The next person in this court who dares to utter a word will be thrown out.


In-House Counsel

An independent woman started her own business. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in. She soon realized that she needed an in-house counsel, so she began interviewing young lawyers.

"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question."

She leaned forward and asked: "Mr. Peterson, are you an 'honest' lawyer?"

"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my dad lent me $15,000 for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."

"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"

"My dad sued me for the money."

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