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I am the lion

I am the lion

In the poor zoo of India, a lion was so much frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day. The lion thought it's prayers were answered when one of Saudi Arabia Zoo Manager visits the zoo and requests the zoo management to shift the lion to the Sauid Arabia Zoo.

The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment, a goat or two every day and a Saudia residence permit also. On it's first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast. The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few peanuts. Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India.

The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of peanuts was delivered. The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him, "Don't you know I am the lion...king of the Jungle... what's wrong with your management?" what nonsense is this? why are you delivering peanuts to me?

The delivery boy politely said, "Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle but ...err... did you know that you have been brought here on a Monkey's visa.




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37 Mating Positions

I went into our local bookstore and saw this huge display with a sign saying "Newly translated from the original French: 37 mating positions.

Noticing that the books were already wrapped in plain brown paper, I just hadda buy one.

Once safely at home I opened it, out of sight of my wife, and found that I had just purchased an expensive book about Chess.

M. P.

Interview!!!

OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR NAME ?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : TELL ME PROPERLY
CANDIDATE : MOHAN PAL SIR

OFFICER : YOUR FATHER'S NAME ?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?
CANDIDATE : MANMOHAN PAL SIR

OFFICER : YOUR NATIVE PLACE
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : IS IT MADHYA PRADESH ?
CANDIDATE : NO, MUNNUR PAL SIR

OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR QUALIFICATION?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : (ANGRILY) WHAT IS IT ?
CANDIDATE : METRIC PASS

OFFICER : WHY DO YOU NEED A JOB ?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?
CANDIDATE : MONEY PROBLEM SIR

OFFICER : DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : EXPLAIN YOURSELF CLEARLY
CANDIDATE : MAGNANIMOUS PERSONALITY SIR

OFFICER : THIS DISCUSSION IS NOWHERE, YOU MAY GO NOW
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : WHAT IS IT NOW
CANDIDATE : MY PERFORMANCE....?

OFFICER : M P!!!!
CANDIDATE : WHAT IS THAT SIR..?

OFFICER : MENTALLY PUNCTURED

Tough Business

The tough businessman was feeling very ill and went to the doctor. The doc examined him and backed away, saying....

"I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have an advanced case of highly infectious rabies. You must have had it for some time. It will almost certainly be fatal."

"Could you give me a pen and paper?" asked the businessman.

"Do you want to write your will?"

"No, I want to make a list of all the people I want to bite."

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