Help Laloo pay the fine
A major traffic jam was preventing people from moving forward. A motorist shouted out wanting to know what was happening. A guy from the front replied, "Well at the traffic crossing Laloo Yadav is sprawled across the road. He is refusing to move from there!"
"He has lost the elections and will now surely be convicted for corruption and will have to pay lakhs of Rupess as fines! He is threatening to douse himself with kerosene and set himself on fire if people didnt contribute with money to help him pay the fine!"
"So how much has been collected so far?"
More Political Jokes
Clinton came to Pakistan on a state visit. Mian Nawaz Sharif asked the city authorities to clean up the city. Clinton was shown around the city the way government was spending the US aid. However, he noticed people relieving themselves (pissing or shitting) on the roadside in several places. At the end of the visit Clinton said to Nawaz that he would like more of the money spent towards the civic facilities so that people do not have to relieve themselves in public places. Nawaz Sharif was annoyed. He decided that the next time he will go to USA and will embarrass the US president too.
Next month Nawaz went to USA and spent one week in Washington. Every time he went around with Clinton, he looked hard to find something that would embarrass Clinton. But he could not find any fault.
But on the last day of the visit while Nawaz was being escorted back to airport from the Pakistani embassy, he saw someone pissing in a dark area of the street. He pointed out to Clinton: See, even in USA people do that.
Clinton was very angry. He signaled to FBI agents who shot the roadside pisser immediately.
The next day Nawaz read in the newspapers in Islamabad: Pakistani ambassador shot dead in Washington!
A priest walked into a barber shop in Washington, D.C. After he got his haircut, he asked how much it would be. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the Lord." The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 prayer books and a thank you note from the priest in front of the door.
Later that day, a police officer came in and got his hair cut. He then asked how much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the community." The next morning, he came to work and there were a dozen donuts and a thank you note from the police officer.
Then, a Senator came in and got a haircut. When he was done he asked how much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the country." The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 Senators in front of the door.
1. What do they call French Toilet in Bihar?
2. Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo "WAIT SIR" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on...
3. Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas..."
The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.
4 Laloos family planning policy..
"Don't have more than two children in one year"
5 At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"
Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
6 After having become the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a picture. To show he is down to earth CM he decides to pose along with a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION "Laloo, third from left"
7 A reporter asked Laloo "What is the main reason for a divorce ?"
Laloos answer "Marriage"