Football Match

Football Match

One day during a class period the teacher told the students to write on a football match.

Ram took only one minute the essay, the teacher was amazed at it.

when she read it it was written "due to heavy rain match was postponed."

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Types of men

Types of men in Rest Rooms, which one r u??

Excitable Type : Pants are twisted, cannot find hole, rips pants in anger.

Sociable Type : Joins pals for a pee whether he wants one or not.

Timid Type : Cannot pee if anyone is watching, pretends he has peed and sneaks back later.

Noisy Type : Whistles loudly. Peeps over partition to have a look at the other fellow's tool.

Indifferent Type : All urinals being occupied, uses sink.

Clever Type: Pees without holding tool, shows off by adjusting tie at same time.

Vain Type: Undoes 5 buttons to take out tool when 2 would have done.

Absent Minded Type : Opens jacket, takes out his tie and pees in his pants.

Worried Type: Not quite sure what he has been up to lately, makes a furtive but close inspection of his tool while peeing.

Disgrunted Type: Stands for a while, grunts,farts, tries to pee, fails, farts and walks away.

Sneaky Type : Drops silent fart while peeing, sniffs and looks at the bloke next to him.

Sloppy Type : Pees down into his shoe, walks out with his zip open and adjusts his balls 10 mins later.

Learned Type : Reads a book or newspaper while peeing.

Childish Type: Looks at the bottom of the urinal to watch bubbles while peeing.

Strong Type : Bangs tool on the side of the urinal to knock the drops off.

Drunken Type : Pulls out his tool, sees two, puts one back and pees in his trousers.

Embarrased Type : Covers his tool with both hands as he stands there and pees through his fingers.

Cockeyed Type : Stands in one cubical and pees in next.

One foot!

A woman got married to the man who has got one leg.

The next day she mailed her mother my husband got one foot her mother replied that's wonderful! Your father has got only 5 inches!

Solving The Problem

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady. He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.

2.The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone rang.

4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pi**ing and moaning.

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