Invention

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the gate, St. Peter greets Ford and tells him, "Well, you've been such a good guy and your invention, the assembly line for the automobile changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone in heaven you want."

Ford thinks about it, and says, "I want to hang out with God Himself." So, the befuddled St. Peter takes Ford to the throne room, and introduces him to God.

Ford then asks God, "When you invented woman, what were you thinking?"

God asks, "What do you mean?"

"Well," says Ford, "You have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much front-end protrusion.
2. It chatters way too much at high speeds.
3. Maintenance is extremely high.
4. It constantly needs repainting, and refinishing.
5. It is out of commission at least 5 or 6 of every 28 days.
6. The rear end wobbles too much.
7. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust.
8. The headlights are usually too small.
9. Fuel consumption is outrageous.........Just to name a few."

"Hmmm...," replies God, "Hold on a minute."

God goes over to the celestial supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the results. In no time, the computer prints out a report, and God reads it.

God then turns to Ford, and says, "It may be that my invention is flawed, but according to these statistics, more men are riding my invention than yours."




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Football Match

One day during a class period the teacher told the students to write on a football match.

Ram took only one minute the essay, the teacher was amazed at it.

when she read it it was written "due to heavy rain match was postponed."

Types of men

Types of men in Rest Rooms, which one r u??

Excitable Type : Pants are twisted, cannot find hole, rips pants in anger.

Sociable Type : Joins pals for a pee whether he wants one or not.

Timid Type : Cannot pee if anyone is watching, pretends he has peed and sneaks back later.

Noisy Type : Whistles loudly. Peeps over partition to have a look at the other fellow's tool.

Indifferent Type : All urinals being occupied, uses sink.

Clever Type: Pees without holding tool, shows off by adjusting tie at same time.

Vain Type: Undoes 5 buttons to take out tool when 2 would have done.

Absent Minded Type : Opens jacket, takes out his tie and pees in his pants.

Worried Type: Not quite sure what he has been up to lately, makes a furtive but close inspection of his tool while peeing.

Disgrunted Type: Stands for a while, grunts,farts, tries to pee, fails, farts and walks away.

Sneaky Type : Drops silent fart while peeing, sniffs and looks at the bloke next to him.

Sloppy Type : Pees down into his shoe, walks out with his zip open and adjusts his balls 10 mins later.

Learned Type : Reads a book or newspaper while peeing.

Childish Type: Looks at the bottom of the urinal to watch bubbles while peeing.

Strong Type : Bangs tool on the side of the urinal to knock the drops off.

Drunken Type : Pulls out his tool, sees two, puts one back and pees in his trousers.

Embarrased Type : Covers his tool with both hands as he stands there and pees through his fingers.

Cockeyed Type : Stands in one cubical and pees in next.

One foot!

A woman got married to the man who has got one leg.

The next day she mailed her mother my husband got one foot her mother replied that's wonderful! Your father has got only 5 inches!

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