Fastest Means of Communication
The three fastest means of communication:
More Stupid Jokes
You should know both good and bad things.
When a woman is 18, she is a football. 20 men (+reserve) going after her.
When she is 28, she is a hockey ball. 8 men afterher. (forward players).
When she is 38, she is a golf ball. One man hitting her.
When she is 48, she is a pingpong ball, two men pushing to each other.
A man walks into a supermarket and buys :
1 bar of soap
1 tube toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner
The girl at the checkout looks at him and says, "You're single aren't you?" The man replies very sarcastically, "How did you guess?" She replies, "Because you are so damn ugly!"
Some time ago, there was this artist, who worked from a studio in his home. He specialized in nudes, and had been working on what he thought would be a masterpiece for several months now.
As usual, his model reported, and after exchanging the usual greetings and small talk, she began to undress for the day's work. He told her not to bother, that he felt pretty bad with a cold he had been fighting. He added that he would pay her for the day, but that she could just go home; he just wanted some hot tea and then, off to bed.
The model said "Oh, please, let me fix it for you. It's the least I can do." He agreed and told her to fix herself a cup too. They were sitting in the living room just exchanging small talk and enjoying their tea, when he heard the front door open and close, then some familiar footsteps. "Oh my God !!!" he whispered loudly, "It's my wife! Quick!!! Take all your clothes off."