A farmer's wife was terribly suspicious.
Every evening she subjected her husband to an inspection.
And if she found even a single hair on his coat, she created a terrible scene.
One night, she found nothing. "So," she screamed: "Now it's a bald-headed woman!"
More Marriage Jokes
The husband was furious when he found out the checking account was empty. When he confronted his wife, she simply said,
"It's my turn."
"What do you mean, your turn?" yelled the husband.
"In bed," she explained, "You've been making early withdrawals for years. Now, it's my turn."
The Smiths were dining out when his wife noticed a familiar face at the bar.
"Honey," she said as she pointed the guy out, "that guy at the bar has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago."
Her husband said, "That's silly, no one celebrates that much."
After three years of marriage, the wife was still questioning her husband about his lurid past.
"C'mon, tell me," she asked for the thousandth time, "how many women have you slept with?"
"Baby, " he protested, "if I told you, you'd throw a fit."
The Wife promised she wouldn't get angry, and convinced her hubby to tell her.
"Okay," he said, then started to count on his fingers "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven - THEN THERE'S YOU - nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen.....