Some Marriage Facts
* Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
* Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.
* I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
* We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.
* Marriage is like a cage, one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out.
* By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher...and that is a good thing for any man.
* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner
* Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
* Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
More Marriage Jokes
A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife. The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities.
A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man!
He saw the two of them laughing in the park. He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe.
He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. He saw the man and his wife participate in a dozen activities with utter glee.
"I just can't believe this," the distraught husband said.
The detective said, "What's not to believe? It's right up there on the screen!"
The husband replied, "I can't believe that my wife could be so much fun!"
A farmer's wife was terribly suspicious.
Every evening she subjected her husband to an inspection.
And if she found even a single hair on his coat, she created a terrible scene.
One night, she found nothing. "So," she screamed: "Now it's a bald-headed woman!"
The husband was furious when he found out the checking account was empty. When he confronted his wife, she simply said,
"It's my turn."
"What do you mean, your turn?" yelled the husband.
"In bed," she explained, "You've been making early withdrawals for years. Now, it's my turn."