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'Sex' and 'Love'

'Sex' and 'Love'

At the retreat, a couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words 'sex' and 'love.'

The woman wrote:

'When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and they respect each other very much, just like my hubby and I, it is spiritually and morally acceptable for them to engage in the act physical sex with one another.'

The Husband wrote:

'I love sex.'




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Windows Menu in Hindi

Bill Gates was in India a few days ago. Everybody from Devi Gowda down to Manohar Joshi was licking his rich billionaire ass. He just gave some pocket change ($ 1 million) as charity to the IITs but made no firm commitment as to investments in India. He did announce that Microsoft will come out with a windows version in Hindi. He has hired my help for this purpose.

I am currently hard at work on the Menu commands and would appreciate your suggestions. Windows Commands in Hindi version shoonya bindu shoonya ek (0.01).
Phile = File
Kholo = Open
Bandh Karo = Close
Naya = New
Khatara = Old
Bachao = Save
Aise Bachao = Save as
Paise Bachao = Save money
Bhaago = Run
Chaapo = Print
Dekh Ke Chaapo = Print Preview
Paise Deke Chokri Dekho = Pay Per View
Phirsay = Edit
Kaapi = Copy
Kaato = Cut
Kato = Stupid Houseguest
Chipkao = Paste
Payshul Chipkao = Paste Special
Goli Maaro = Delete
Nazaara = View
Bakwaas Nazaara = View From My Apartment
Hatyaar = Tools
Hatyaar Khamba = Toolbar
Uh Buh Kuh Duh Thik Thak = Spell Check
Isko Kya Kehte Hain = Thesaurus
Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet
Iska Bhi Naam Nahin Aaata = Database
Futaas Ki Goli Kha = Exit

Lawyers are assholes

A guy in a bar stood up and shouted, "Lawyers are assholes!"
A guy at the other end of the bar shouted back "I resent that!"

The first guy asked, "Are you a lawyer?"
The second guy responded, "No, I'm an asshole."

Who Runs The Human Body?

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge. The brain said: "I should be in charge, because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the heart, "because I pump the blood and circulate oxygen all over the body, so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic. Eventually the other organs gave in. They all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.

The moral of the story?

You don't have to be smart or important to be in charge... just be an asshole.

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