The Screaming Husband!
A husband was screaming at the top of his voice to his wife...
"What the hell do you think of yourself, you idiot, fool, I can do whatever I want, and no body, "that's nobody " can stop me from doing it, you got it loud and clear."
The wife was a meek audience listening to all this .
When her husband finished his shouting session, she said quietly. "That's okay, honey but please, do come out from under the bed."
More Marriage Jokes
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Silverman became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous young blonde woman.
As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Silverman, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"
Bewildered, Mr. Silverman was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I . . . I didn't pinch that girl."
"Of course you didn't," replied his wife, consolingly "I did."
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their wedding anniversary.
The husband decides to give his wife a gift, a tombstone, with the inscription: "Here lies my wife.....cold as ever"
Later the furious wife bought a return present, a tombstone with the inscription: "Here lies my husband.....stiff at last"
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "Don't try these techniques at home."
"Why not?" asked somebody from the audience.
"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the fridge, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, "You're wasting too much time. Why don't you try carrying several things at once?"
"Did it save time?" the guy in the audience asked.
"Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in ten."