An English professor wrote the words "A woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."

The women wrote: "A woman: Without her, man is nothing."

Punctuation is everything!

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A young guy and girlfriend were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch.

For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin'. . . perhaps it's about time for a kiss."

The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again.

"Another penny for your thoughts, honey."

The young man knit his brow. "Well, now," he said, "my thoughts are a bit more serious this time."

"Really?" said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation.

"Don't you think it's about time you pay me that first penny?", said the guy.

Courses for Women

Few advanced courses for women.

Women think they already know everything, but wait, training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before.

2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits.

3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits.

4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game.

5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.

6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His.

7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.

8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking.

9. Communication Skills III: Getting What You Want Without Nagging.

10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire.

11. Telephone Skills: How To Hang Up.

12 Introduction to Parking

13 Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space

14 Water Retention: Fact or Fat

15 Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter

16 Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption

17 Cooking III: How NOT to Inflict Your Diets on Other People

18 Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully

19 PMS: "Poor Me Syndrome" Your Problem Not His

20 Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To

21 Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have

22 Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice

23 Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together

24 Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both

25 TV Remotes: For Men Only


Woman: These men are really fools, you tell them something, they would listen with one ear and then pass it out from the another.

Man : Its still better, you tell something to a women, she would listen with both the ears and pour it out through the mouth.

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