The Difference in Attitude
The difference in attitude - Getting a Haircut
TWO WOMEN TALKING:
Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?
Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.
Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.
Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from these football player shoulders of mine.
Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.......................
NOW TWO MEN TALKING
Man 1: Haircut?
Man 2: Yeah.
More Funny Jokes
An English professor wrote the words "A woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "A woman: Without her, man is nothing."
Punctuation is everything!
A young guy and girlfriend were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch.
For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin'. . . perhaps it's about time for a kiss."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again.
"Another penny for your thoughts, honey."
The young man knit his brow. "Well, now," he said, "my thoughts are a bit more serious this time."
"Really?" said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation.
"Don't you think it's about time you pay me that first penny?", said the guy.
Few advanced courses for women.
Women think they already know everything, but wait, training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:
1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before.
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits.
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits.
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game.
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His.
7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking.
9. Communication Skills III: Getting What You Want Without Nagging.
10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire.
11. Telephone Skills: How To Hang Up.
12 Introduction to Parking
13 Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
14 Water Retention: Fact or Fat
15 Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
16 Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
17 Cooking III: How NOT to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
18 Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
19 PMS: "Poor Me Syndrome" Your Problem Not His
20 Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To
21 Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have
22 Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice
23 Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
24 Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both
25 TV Remotes: For Men Only