Best Diplomats, Women
Kammu phoned her husband Nil at work as usual for a chat.
Nil said, "Kammu darling, I am terribly busy today, can you call me back later today perhaps"
Kammu said, "But sweetheart, I have a good news, and I have a bad news to give to you."
Nil said, "Darling, I do not have time, so why don't you give me the good news now, and when I come back home in the evening then give me the bad news, This way I can focus here, and do not spoil my work."
Kammu said, "OK dear. The good news is, the Air bag of our brand new Lexus works, I got my life saved. And when you come back home in the evening I will give you the bad news."
And then Kammu hung up.
More Marriage Jokes
Husband and wife had quarreled for a while. After cool down period wife came back to husband in the morning and asked, "Honey what are you doing?"
Husband tried to hide the document in hand and mumbled, "Nothing!"
Wife took on again, "Nothing what? I have been seeing you are reading our Marriage certificate for whole night, even with magnifying glass, upside down, backside front, intense lamplight. What's the sickness with your brain?"
Dejected Husband said, "Nothing, I was just looking for the expiry date."
After the holidays and all those delightful, seasonal treats, a husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tells your fortune and weight.
He drops in a coin and eagerly reads the results.
"Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and an absolutely great lover in bed!"
"Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too."
When the rich man's will was read, his wife was very upset: he left everything to the young woman who lived next door to them and nothing to her!
She drove immediately to the cemetery to cancel her order for his headstone.
The stonecarver said, "You're too late. I already carved it just like you told me: 'Rest In Peace.'" The woman thought a moment and then replied, "Okay, then, I'll pay you a little more to add, 'Till we meet again!'"