In The Flight

In The Flight

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to a Chicagoan on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.

"Last night I made love to my wife four times, "the Frenchman bragged, "and this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man."

When the Chicagoan remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"

"Once," he replied.

"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?"

"Don't stop."

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A woman who'd been married twice and divorced twice was finally fed up. Her first husband beat her, and her second husband ran away with another woman. Plus, she couldn't find a new lover who could satisfy her sexually, so she put an ad in the classifieds: Wanted: A good looking, single guy who won't beat me, won't leave me, and is good in bed.

About a week later, her doorbell rings. She opens the door to find a man with no arms and legs in a wheelchair on her front porch. "I'm here about your ad," he says. "You must be mistaken,"she says. "Let me explain," he says. "I can't beat you, I don't have any arms. And I can't run away, because I don't have any legs." "But," she asks,"How do I know you're good in bed?" "Madam how do you think I rang your bell?" was the quick retort.

Adam and Eve

And it came to pass that the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth so I want you to kiss her." Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what is a 'kiss?'" The Lord gave a brief description to Adam who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush.

A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that was enjoyable."

The Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that and now I'd like for you to caress Eve." Again, Adam had to ask, "What is a 'caress?'" Again, the Lord gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve.

Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned...smiling, and said, "Lord, that was even better than the kiss." The Lord said, "You've done well Adam. Now I want you to make love to Eve." Of course Adam had to ask, "What is 'make love' Lord?'" And again, the Lord gave Adam directions to which Adam went straight away to Eve, behind the bush, but this time he reappeared in two seconds asking...

"Lord, what is a 'headache?'"


Several years ago the United States funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took 2 years and cost over $180,000.00. The results of the study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.

After the results were published, Germany decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the U.S. study were incorrect. After three years of research and cost an excess of $250,000.00, they concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the women with more pleasure during sex.

When the results of the German study were released, Poland decided to conduct their own study. The Poles didn't really trust the U.S. or German studies. So after nearly three weeks of intensive research and at a cost of right around $75.00, the Polish study reached a conclusion. The Polish study came to the final conclusion that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead.

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