3 Brazillion soldiers

3 Brazillion soldiers

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the President his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks.... "How many is a Brazillion ??!"

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Prince Charles

Prince Charles is driving his Land Rover to Sandringham to see his mum. He enters the gate and waves at the guard, just as he pulls onto the driveway he feels a *bump* and a high-pitched howling noise. He quickly stops the car and gets out, to his horror he sees one of his mums Corgis badly crushed under the wheel of the car.

The poor dog is already dead and Prince Charles does not know what to do. His mum will be heart broken and she will be very upset with him.

Just then there was a bright flash and *pooof* a beautiful fairy appeared floating in front of him.

"Who are you?" Asked Prince Charles

"I'm your fairy godmother" she replied in a soft voice "I sensed you were in need and am here to grant you any wish you desire".

"Any wish I desire" repeated Prince Charles What luck!

Well as you can see I just ran over one of mums dogs and she will be most upset. So please, can you bring the doggy back to life?"

The fairy godmother took out her magic wand and walked over to the squashed Corgi and after looking at it for a while she said "It is very errrr, squashed and I'm afraid my fairy magic has its limits you know. Isn't there anything else you desire, another wish I could grant you?"

Prince Charles scratched his head and thought about it for awhile. "Ah ha," he said, "I know what I would like to wish for. Please can you make Camilla as beautiful as Diana was?"

The fairy godmother had a stunned look on her face, she paused for a second, and said, "Well, perhaps I could have another try at the dog."

Osama in Heaven

After his death, Osama bin Laden went to paradise. He was greeted by George Washington, who slapped him across the face and yelled angrily, "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!"

Then Patrick Henry punched Osama in the nose and James Madison kicked him in the groin.

Bin Laden was subjected to similar beatings from John Randolph, James Monroe, Thomas Jefferson and 66 other early Americans. As he writhed in pain on the ground, an angel appeared.

Bin Laden groaned, "This is not what I was promised!"

The angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you! What did you think I said?"

Help Laloo pay the fine

A major traffic jam was preventing people from moving forward. A motorist shouted out wanting to know what was happening. A guy from the front replied, "Well at the traffic crossing Laloo Yadav is sprawled across the road. He is refusing to move from there!"

"But why?"

"He has lost the elections and will now surely be convicted for corruption and will have to pay lakhs of Rupess as fines! He is threatening to douse himself with kerosene and set himself on fire if people didnt contribute with money to help him pay the fine!"

"So how much has been collected so far?"

"Six litres!"

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