Horse's Patoot

Horse's Patoot

A man walked into a Texas bar and ordered a beer just as President Clinton came on the TV. After a few sips he looked up at the screen and mumbled, "Now there's the biggest horse's patoot I've ever seen."

Immediately a customer at the end of the bar got up, walked over, decked him, and left.

A few minutes later, the man was finishing his beer when Hillary Clinton appeared on the TV.

"Nope, I was wrong. She's the biggest horse's patoot I've ever seen," he said.

A customer from the other end of the bar got up, walked over, and knocked him off his stool again.

"Darnit!" the man said, climbing back up to the bar. "This must be Clinton country."

"Nope," the bartender replied. "Horse country!"

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Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich and Bob Packwood

Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich, and Bob Packwood were in the Land of Oz. They find the Wizard, and he asks each of them what they want. Clinton says, "I want a brain." Gingrich says, "I want a heart." Packwood says, "Where's Dorothy?"

Saving Bill Clinton

Three kids are walking by a lake. They see Bill Clinton jogging, and he falls into the lake. They go and save him from drowning. Then Clinton says that he will give them anything they want.

He asks the first boy what he wants, and he says "I want to go to the Naval Academy." Clinton says "Then, I will make sure you get in to the Naval Academy."

He asks the 2nd kid, and he says the wants to go to West Point. Clinton says he will get him into West Point.

He asks what the 3rd boy wants. He says "I want to be buried in Arlington Nat'l Cemetary." Clinton says "You are so young, why are you concerned about when you are going to die. The boy says "Beacause my father will kill me when he finds out what I did today!"


The President, his wife, Al gore, and another man were seated next to each other on a plane ride. Hillary said if someone threw a 100 dollar bill out the window they would make 1 person happy. Then, Al Gore said but if they threw out 5, 20 dollar bills out the window they would make 5 people happy.

Then, the President said if they threw 100, 1 dollar bills out the window they would make 100 people happy. Then, the man sitting next to them said if they threw Bill Clinton out the window they would make millions of people happy.

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