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My wife doesn't like it

My wife doesn't like it

Guy walks into the doctor's office and says, "DDDDDoc, I've beeeeen stutttttttering for yeeears, and IIII'm tired of it. Cccccan yyyou helllp me?"

The doc says, "Well, I'll have to examine you to see what's going on." So he examines him, and says, "Well I think I know what the problem is.

The guy says, "Weeell wwwhat is it, dddoc?

Doc says, "Well, it's your penis, it's about a foot long and all the down pressure is putting strain on your vocal cords."

Guy says, "Wwwaat caaan we dddo?
Doc says, "Well, I can cut it off and transplant a shorter one."
Guy says, "Doooo it!"

The guy has the operation and three weeks later, he comes back into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, you solved the problem and I don't stutter anymore, but I've only had sex once in the past three weeks. My wife doesn't like it anymore.

She liked it with my long one. I don't care if I have to stutter, I want you to put my long one back on."

The doc says, "Nope... .A ddddeal's a dddddeal!!!




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Costly pot

There is a couple, both really fat, the wife fatter than the husband one day, mom is giving a bath

Son: mummy mummy, what's that (pointing to her tummy)
Mom: My dear its a pot

Son: how much does it cost
Mom: $2

Next day husband is giving bath to his son.

Son: Daddy Daddy, is that a pot too
dad: Yes it is.
Son: How much does it cost
Dad: $5

Son (confused): How come your pot is smaller but costs more.

Dad (sheepish): My boy, your mom has a crack under her pot while I have a tap underneath.

Last Night

During a severe winter, two frogs came by a house at midnight. It was very cold so they decided to go in and find a warm place to sleep.

They found a nude lady lying on the bed. Frog A decided to go in the back hole and the other in the pussy.

When the night was over:
Frog A:(yawning) Good morning!
Frog B:(tired and exausted) hey.

Frog A: How did you sleep last night?
Frog B: (Angry) shit man! Last night while I was asleep, a hard stick kicked me so hard, not even that it spit on me and then left!

Deal

In a forest there was a lion and a monkey. both were good friends, and too much into this sex stuff, one day wives of the two ran away, so they were like helpless as they couldn't have sex now, so they decide to fuck each turn by turn, now the monkey screws up the lion and when lion asks for his turn he runs away, he goes to a tree gets a cap, goggles and hides his face in a newspaper pretending as if reading it.

The lion comes searching for him under the tree and asks him "have u seen any monkey here." the monkey replies "The one who has fucked you up just now?" lion roares in horror "It got published so soon."

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