Who Said This...

Who Said This...

It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher greeted the class and said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said "Give me liberty, or give me death?" She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up.

"Patrick Henry, 1775," said the boy.

"Now," said the teacher, "Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth?"

Again, no response except from Toshiba, "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "You should be ashamed. Toshiba, who is new to our country, knows more about it than you do." As she turned to write something on the blackboard, she heard a loud whisper, "Damned Japanese."

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982," he said.

At that point, feeling completely disgusted by Toshiba's classroom superiority, a student in the back sighed, "I'm gonna throw up".

Teacher says, "Who said that?".

Again, Toshiba raises his hand and says, "George Bush to Japanese Prime Minister, 1991".

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Well suck my ...."

Once again, it's Toshiba with the answer, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997".

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Laloo Prasad and Bill Gates

The following is the conversation between Laloo Prasad Yadav and Bill Gates.

Gates: Hi! You must have heard of Windows?

Laloo: Oh yes! Most of our government offices have single window clearance concept.

Gates: At home have you installed Windows?

Laloo: I have removed all windows due to increased burglaries in our house.

Gates (Confused): Then what is the system you operate on?

Laloo: Operation? Yes, I had a Hernia operation last month.

Gates (Sweating): Hope the Internet is being used a lot in India.

Lallo: Oh yes! Due to increased mosquito problems many people are sleeping under the net.

Time Difference

Laloo Yadav to a long distance telephone operator: "Could you please tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Vegas??"

Operator: "Just a minute Sir..." Laloo: "Thanks You!", and puts the phone down.

Laloo Revenge

Laloo Yadav suspects Rabri Devi of cheating on him. He thinks : "I have been so busy in politics. I hardly get any time make love. How come we have so many children. Rabri must be making it out with others. "So he goes unexpectedly to his bungalow one afternoon and sure enough he opens the door to find Rabri Devi in the arms of his chowkidaar.

Well, Laloo sure is angry. He takes out the gun from the pocket in his kurta. But as he does so, he is overcome with grief. He takes the gun and points to his head, ready to pull the trigger. Rabri yells "Nahin! aisa gazab mat karo! (No don't do this) Laloo replies "Chup kar kal-muhi agli goli ka shikar tu hogee!" (shut-up you are taking the next bullet).

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