Hillary's Fortune

Hillary's Fortune

During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local reputation:

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. As the mystic took her reading, she had a struck look on her face, looked up and said, "There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the woman's wrinkled face, then at the single flickering candle on the table. Looking aside for a moment, Hillary then looked back down to her wringing hands in her lap. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself and consider her question; she just had to know.

Hillary met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question: "Will I be acquitted?"

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Teaching English to Laloo

Once Bill Clinton decides to teach english to Laloo Yaadav.

For that purpose he comes to India and takes the former into a room. All the staff of clinton waits there for 3 months.

Atlast the door of the room opens and staff asks Clinton whether he succeeded or not. To this Clinton replies, "BABUA KUCH SAMAJTA HI NAHIN"

Who Said This...

It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher greeted the class and said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said "Give me liberty, or give me death?" She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up.

"Patrick Henry, 1775," said the boy.

"Now," said the teacher, "Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth?"

Again, no response except from Toshiba, "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "You should be ashamed. Toshiba, who is new to our country, knows more about it than you do." As she turned to write something on the blackboard, she heard a loud whisper, "Damned Japanese."

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982," he said.

At that point, feeling completely disgusted by Toshiba's classroom superiority, a student in the back sighed, "I'm gonna throw up".

Teacher says, "Who said that?".

Again, Toshiba raises his hand and says, "George Bush to Japanese Prime Minister, 1991".

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Well suck my ...."

Once again, it's Toshiba with the answer, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997".

Laloo Prasad and Bill Gates

The following is the conversation between Laloo Prasad Yadav and Bill Gates.

Gates: Hi! You must have heard of Windows?

Laloo: Oh yes! Most of our government offices have single window clearance concept.

Gates: At home have you installed Windows?

Laloo: I have removed all windows due to increased burglaries in our house.

Gates (Confused): Then what is the system you operate on?

Laloo: Operation? Yes, I had a Hernia operation last month.

Gates (Sweating): Hope the Internet is being used a lot in India.

Lallo: Oh yes! Due to increased mosquito problems many people are sleeping under the net.

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