Garage Door

Garage Door

Upon serving the passengers their in-flight snacks, one attendant attempted with utmost professional delicacy to communicate with the least risk of embarrassment to the passenger that his pants were unzipped. "Sir, your garage door is open", she whispered.

Several times during the flight she attempted to inform him of his condition but her delicacy was lost on this dumb schmuck until of course he visited the bathroom and realised that he'd been exposed throughout the entire flight.

Realising now what she had been trying to tell him, he became livid with humiliation. If she had just said his pants were unzipped in 'plain English 'he'd have been spared the embarrassment of having been in flight almost 8 hours in that condition. "Garage door" eh!

Well, I two can play that game he said to himself. I'll show her Returning to his seat he waited for that quiet moment when he could be sure that most everyone around him could hear the exchange and called her over to his seat.

"Say, when you saw that garage door open earlier, did you by any chance see a l-o-n-g, brown, sleek Cadillac parked in there?" he said smirking . Without a moment's hesitation, however, the attendant replied,

"Well, no sir, I sure didn't....but I did see a little pink Volkswagen with flat tires!"

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My wife doesn't like it

Guy walks into the doctor's office and says, "DDDDDoc, I've beeeeen stutttttttering for yeeears, and IIII'm tired of it. Cccccan yyyou helllp me?"

The doc says, "Well, I'll have to examine you to see what's going on." So he examines him, and says, "Well I think I know what the problem is.

The guy says, "Weeell wwwhat is it, dddoc?

Doc says, "Well, it's your penis, it's about a foot long and all the down pressure is putting strain on your vocal cords."

Guy says, "Wwwaat caaan we dddo?
Doc says, "Well, I can cut it off and transplant a shorter one."
Guy says, "Doooo it!"

The guy has the operation and three weeks later, he comes back into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, you solved the problem and I don't stutter anymore, but I've only had sex once in the past three weeks. My wife doesn't like it anymore.

She liked it with my long one. I don't care if I have to stutter, I want you to put my long one back on."

The doc says, "Nope... .A ddddeal's a dddddeal!!!

Costly pot

There is a couple, both really fat, the wife fatter than the husband one day, mom is giving a bath

Son: mummy mummy, what's that (pointing to her tummy)
Mom: My dear its a pot

Son: how much does it cost
Mom: $2

Next day husband is giving bath to his son.

Son: Daddy Daddy, is that a pot too
dad: Yes it is.
Son: How much does it cost
Dad: $5

Son (confused): How come your pot is smaller but costs more.

Dad (sheepish): My boy, your mom has a crack under her pot while I have a tap underneath.

Last Night

During a severe winter, two frogs came by a house at midnight. It was very cold so they decided to go in and find a warm place to sleep.

They found a nude lady lying on the bed. Frog A decided to go in the back hole and the other in the pussy.

When the night was over:
Frog A:(yawning) Good morning!
Frog B:(tired and exausted) hey.

Frog A: How did you sleep last night?
Frog B: (Angry) shit man! Last night while I was asleep, a hard stick kicked me so hard, not even that it spit on me and then left!

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