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Wife & Mistress

Wife & Mistress

Two friends were walking down the street when one noticed two women approching "My God!" said one "Here comes my wife and my mistress, together."

The other man looked up and said "Good God, you took the words right out of my mouth."




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Choice

Jerry Falwell, a religious man, was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight.

After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink orders. The President asked for a whisky and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like a drink.

The minister replied in disgust, "Ma'am, I'd rather be savagely raped by a brazen whore than let liquor touch these lips!"

The President then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a choice..."

Talking Parrot

Hillary Clinton went into a pet shop and found a beautiful, colorful parrot.

"Does this parrot talk?" she asked. "Yes, he does," the manager told her "But why is this one only $50 and all the others are $500?" she asked..

"Well, ma'am," the manager told her, "not everyone would want to own thiis parrot. He spent many years in a whore house and his language is terrible."

"Well, I want him," she said. "Suit yourself," the manager shrugged When she got the parrot back to the White House, she uncovered his cage and admired the colorful bird. The parrot tilted his head to one side, looked her straight in eye and said, "New house, new madam." Hillary laughed..

Soon Chelsea and a friend came in and began admiring the bird. "New house, new whores," the parrot observed. At first they were offended, but when Hillary explained about the bird's history, they too, laughed.

After a while the President entered the living quarters. The parrot looked at him and said, "Hi, Bill!"

The Classic Gift

A young man wished to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, as they had not been dating very long. After careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note... romantic, but not too personal.

Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Sears and bought a pair of white gloves.

The younger sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties.

Without checking the contents, he sealed the package and mailed it to his sweetheart along with this note:

Darling,
I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears short ones that are easy to remove.

These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled, I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart.

I wish I was there to put them on you for the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away, as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.

Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night.

All my love,
Jimmie

P.S. - The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.

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