Who Survive

Q: Once there were Jayalalitha, Mamta Banerjee, Laloo Yadav and Jaya Jaitley, Bangaroo Laxman in a ship. Suddenly the ship starts sinking. Can you guess who survives?

A: Our Country! India.

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God Gift

Sometime after independence four great leaders of the country - Mahatma Gandhi, Subhash Chandra, Lal Bahadur Shastri and Jawaharlal Nehru went to heaven.

God asked Lal Bahadur Shastri how many children he had during his time on earth. He replied saying he had three! Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, God gave Shastri a Mercedes!

Subhash Chandra Bose is asked the same question. When he replies he had 10 children, God is a bit upset and gives him a cheaper car, the Ford.

Jawaharlal is next and on replying that he had 15 children, God is pretty angry and gives him an inexpensive Maruti.

Sometime later the three see Mahatma Gandhi returning on foot. They ask why God hadnt given him anything. Gandhiji replied with anger, "Some idiot told God that I was the father of the nation!"

NASA Mission to Mars

To send a person on Mars, NASA selects 3 persons for an interview.

The first one, an American doctor comes and is asked how much money he would take to go to Mars. He answers,"I'll take 1 million dollars and donate them to my university". He is discarded.

The second one, a Russian engineer answers to the same question, "I'll take 2 million dollars. I'll donate one million to my university and the remaining to my family."

The third, an Indian politician answers, "I'll take 3 million. I'll give one to you, I'll take one for myself and the remaining one million, we'll give to that
silly doc and send him!"

Clinton and the Pope

Clinton and the Pope die on the same day, and due to some administrative foul up, Clinton gets sent to Heaven and the Pope gets sent to Hell.

The Pope explains the situation to the Hell administration, they check their paperwork, and the error is acknowledged. They explain, however, that it will take about 24 hours to make the switch.

The next day, the Pope is called in and the Hell administration bids him farewell and he heads for Heaven. On the way up, he meets Clinton on the way down and they stop to chat.

Pope: "Sorry about the mix up."
Clinton: "No problem."

Pope: "Well, I'm really excited about going to Heaven."
Clinton: "Why's that?"

Pope: "All my life I've wanted to meet the Virgin Mary."
Clinton: "You're a day late"

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