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Best Type of Surgical Patients

Best Type of Surgical Patients

Five surgeons are discussing who are the best type of surgical patients.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in, "You know, I like construction workers ... those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There are no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable."




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Best and Worst Decision

Many years after Bill Clinton had been President of the United States a famous biographer was going to write Bill's life story. During the course of his interview he asked Bill, "What was your best and your worst decision during the Presidency."

Bill rolled his eyes back in deep thought and then said, "Monica Lewinski! I'd have to say Monica was my best and my worst decision." "

How could that be, Bill?", asked the surprised biographer. Bill smiled and then shook his head, "I'd have to say she was both my best and my worst decision for the same reason." "That's odd. What was the reason for that?", said the biographer.

Bill squirmed in his chair and answered, "Monica had a big mouth."

Technology

At a summit meeting (during Zail Singhs presidency) Indira Gandhi, Ronald Reagan and Helmut Kohl were talking among themselves and bragging about the technological advances their respective countries have achieved in the field of medicine.

Reagan: In Washington, there was a baby boy born without arms, so we attached artificial arms on him. Now that he is grown, he has become an Olympic professional boxer and a gold medalist at that.

Kohl: Thats nothing to that we have done. Back in Berlin, there was a baby girl born without legs, so we attached a pair of artificial legs on her. Now she is a three-time marathon gold medalist in the Olympics.

Indira Gandhi: Is that all you have - just gold medalists? In Punjab, we had a baby boy born without a head. We attached a coconut and put a turban on it so that people wouldn't know. Now he is president of India.

Washington, Nixon and Clinton

Q:) What is the difference between George Washington, Richard Nixon, and Bill Clinton?

A:) Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Clinton didn't know the difference.

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