A Nutty Game
A doctor at an (insane) asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well.
As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up nuts!"
And the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, "Down nuts!" And they all sat.
After a home run he yelled, "Cheer nuts!" And they all broke into applause and cheers.
Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.
When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.
The assistant replied, "Well...everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, "PEANUTS!"
More Stupid Jokes
A girl asked from shopkeeper that "WHAT IS THE PRICE OF THIS NECKLACE"
The shopkeeper said "only one kiss" The girl said pack it for me & my grandfather will pay the price.
Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has ."
Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."
Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"
Wife: "In the pool."
A mother and daughter were doing dishes while the father and son were watching TV in the living room.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The son turned to look at his father.
Son : It's mummy!
Father : How do you know?
Son : She didn't say anything.