A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR :
A place where women curl up and dye.
Someone who is fed up with people.
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MYTH: A female moth.
An insect that makes you like flies better.
Grape with a sunburn.
Something you tell to one person at a time.
More Stupid Jokes
Aoccdrnig to a rsaeerch at a Birsith Uinervtisy,
it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,
the olny iprmotnat tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit
The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
A doctor at an (insane) asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well.
As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up nuts!"
And the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, "Down nuts!" And they all sat.
After a home run he yelled, "Cheer nuts!" And they all broke into applause and cheers.
Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.
When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.
The assistant replied, "Well...everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, "PEANUTS!"
A girl asked from shopkeeper that "WHAT IS THE PRICE OF THIS NECKLACE"
The shopkeeper said "only one kiss" The girl said pack it for me & my grandfather will pay the price.