Diplomat Wants Water
An Arab diplomat visiting the U.S. for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was unused to the salt in American foods (french fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water.
Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water, but then came the time when he returned empty-handed.The Emir was angry and shouted " Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my water?".
"A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One," stammered the wretched Abdul, "white man sit on well." (the shit pot!)
More Political Jokes
You know you work for the government when:
* The process becomes more important than the product.
* You don''t see anything wrong with attending a meeting on a subject you know nothing about.
* You feel you contributed to the meeting just by being there.
* You stop raising issues/problems because you know you will be the one answering them.
* You fly first class across the country to attend a conference with 100+ people to discuss the fact that the project does not have enough money.
* You've sat at the same desk for 3 years, done the same thing for 3 years, but have had 3 different business cards.
Barbara Walters filed a report on gender roles in Kuwait a few years prior to the Gulf War, and noted then that, in traditional Islamic fashion, women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands.
Recently, Barbara returned to Kuwait and observed that the MEN now walked several yards behind their wives.
She approached one of the Kuwaiti women for an explanation.
"This is marvelous," Barbara said. "What enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?"
The Kuwaiti woman replied, "Land mines."
The President was looking for a call girl and he found three such ladies in a local bar: a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette.
To the blonde he said "I am the President of the United States of America. How much will it cost me to spend some time with you?"
The blonde replied, "For you, Mr. President, it will cost $500."
To the Redhead he asked the same question. She replied "I will spend all the time you want for $1,000."
When he approached the brunette he asked the same question and she said, "If you can raise my skirt as high as you've raised my taxes, and can get your pants as low as my wages, and get that thing of yours as hard as times are now, and screw me as well as you do the public, believe me, it won't cost you a damn thing!"