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Don't Touch It

Don't Touch It

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath, Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy.

"Can I touch it?"

"No way -- you already broke yours off!"




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Why One Should Listen To Gossip

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance that ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students called Plato?"

Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test".

"Triple filter?"

That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say.

The first Filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not.

Now let's try the second filter, the Filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued. "You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter - the Filter of usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really..."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True, nor Good, nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?" The man was defeated and ashamed.

This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why he never found out that Plato was sleeping with his wife.

Importance of "Periods"

Teacher : you know the importance of "Periods" ?

Kid : Ya, once my sister said, she missed one, my mom fainted, my dad got an attack and our neighbour committed suicide!

Seeing Eye Dog

A policeman directing traffic at a busy city intersection one afternoon observed a blind man with his seeing-eye dog waiting to cross the street.

All of a sudden, the policeman was aghast at the sight of the seeing-eye dog bolting out into the street in front of heavy traffic at one of the busiest intersections in the whole city, dragging the blind man along with the dog's leash in the blind man's hands while cars were trying to stop,screeching their brakes and swerving to avoid a fatal accident.

The policeman was absolutely horrified, but could do nothing to assist. To the immediate relief of the horrified police officer, the blind man and his dog somehow made it across the street without suffering any harm to themselves whatsoever.It was a miracle!

The police officer, still in shock, observed the blind man, upon reaching the corner sidewalk after having nearly been killed crossing the street, reach into his pocket and pull out a cookie and offer it to his seeing-eye dog.

The officer ran to the blind man and said to him in a loud distraught tone, "Don't you realize that you could have been killed by your dog dragging you out into a busy street in front of heavy traffic like that? And NOW you're going to reward him?"

The blind man hesitated a moment, then he said to the policeman, "Why, no sir! I'm just trying to find out where his head is so I can kick his ass!"

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