A one dollar bill met a 20 dollar bill and said, "Hey, where've you been? I haven't seen you around here much."
The twenty answered, "I've been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for a while, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?"
The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff, church, church, church."
More Funny Jokes
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping at the mall. It was found by an honest little boy, who returned it to her.
Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmm, that's funny. When I lost my bag, there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."
The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone.
He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits.
The store owner listened to the following conversation.
The boy said, "Lady, I want to cut your lawn".
The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn".
"Lady I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now."
The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting her lawn.
The little boy found more perseverance and offered, "Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of North Palm Beach, Florida."
Again the woman answered in the negative. With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver.
The druggist walked over to the boy and said, "Son I like your attitude, I like that positive spirit. Son, I would like to offer you a job."
The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just checking on the job I already have."
A man comes to dinner at a new friend's house. While they eat, the new friend's small son keeps staring at the guest. Finally, the guest says, "Why are you staring at me like that, young fellow?"
The kid says, "Daddy told me you were a self-made man."
"Well, why did you make yourself ugly like that?"