Humor in Logos
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here.
She may be your grandmother!
Rags to Riches Business:
Success is relative
More the success, more the relatives.
We need your heads to run our business.
Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough - or else they never will be.
Its God's responsibility to forgive the terrorists.
It's our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and God.
More Funny Jokes
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, creator of the fictional detective Sherlock Holmes, purportedly told of a time when he climbed into a taxi cab in Paris. Before he could utter a word, the driver turned to him and asked, "Where can I take you, Mr. Doyle?"
Doyle was flabbergasted. He asked the driver if he had ever seen him before.
"No, sir," the driver responded, "I have never seen you before." Then he explained, "This morning's paper had a story about you being on vacation in Marseilles. This is the taxi stand where people who return from Marseilles always come to. Your skin color tells me you have been on vacation. The ink-spot on your right index finger suggests to me that you are a writer. Your clothing is very English, and not French. Adding up all those pieces of information, I deduced that you are Sir Arthur Conan Doyle."
"This is truly amazing!" the writer exclaimed. "You are a real-life counter-part to my fictional creation, Sherlock Holmes!"
"There is one other thing," the driver said.
"What is that?"
"Your name is on the front of your suitcase."
An Irishman found an old oil lamp and rubbed it. Out came a Genie who said, "Master you have released me from the lamp and I grant you three wishes, what would you like"
The Irishman scratched his head for a few moments, then answered, "I wish for a bottle of Guinness that never gets empty."
"Granted master" replied the Genie and produced the bottle.
The Irishman was delighted and immediately poured himself a tall glass of the dark brew. After he drained the glass he picked up the bottle and sure enough it was full again. The Irishman got drunk on this one magic Guinness bottle for three weeks before he remembered that he had two more wishes.
He rubbed the lamp again and the Genie appeared.
"Yes master, you have two more wishes, what would you like?"
"You remember that magic, never ending Guinness bottle?" he asks the Genies. "Well, for my final two wishes, I'd like another two of them"
1. The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.
2. For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.
3. Toys multiply to fill any space available.
4. The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.
5. Yours is always the only child who doesn't behave.
6. If the shoe fits...it's expensive.
7. The surest way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.
8. The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.