Three students are leaving their last classes of the day.

The law student is thinking, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have coffee."

The engineering student is thinking, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have beer."

The medical student is thinking, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have diabetes."

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Please Save Me

A doctor came to visit the patient in hospital, and patient started pleading and crying, "Doctor please save me, ." The patient kept crying and crying.

The outspoken nurse got irritated, and she told the patient, "You should not worry, you see you owe $4000 for hospital bed, $2000 for medicine, $5000 for anesthesia, $8000 for surgery, $3000 in doctor's fee, tell me why would Doctor kill you?"

Comforting Words

A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation.

"What's the matter?" he was asked.

He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right."

"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"

"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor."

Elderly Women

An elderly woman goes to see her Doctor. "What seems to be the trouble, Mrs. Adkins," he asks.

"Well it's very embarrassing Doctor," she replies. "I can't stop breaking wind! They don't smell, and they don't make a noise, but I am embarrassed by them all the same."

The Doctor looks at her and strokes his chin thoughtfully. "You say they don't smell, and they don't make a noise?"

"That's right," replies the old lady.

The Doctor reaches for his prescription pad, and begins to write. "I want you to take one of these tablets each morning and evening for a week. Come back and see me when they are all gone."

Next week the old lady comes back: "How are things now, Mrs. Adkins?" asks the Doctor.

"Well they're about the same," replies the old lady, "except that now my farts are starting to smell REALLY bad!"

That's great!" replies the Doctor. "Great?! How so?" asks the old lady.

"Well we've cleared up your sinuses. Now all we have to do is fix your hearing!"

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