Real Car Names
What your car name REALLY means
Audi: Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
BMW: Born Moderately Wealthy
Camaro: Can't America Make A Real One?
Chevrolet: Clutch Hangs, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Dodge: Dangerous On Days Gears Engage
FIAT: Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
Ford: Failure Of Research & Development
Honda: Hell Of a Nice Damn Automobile
Hyundai: Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive
JEEP:Jumps Everything Ever Parked
Mercedes: Most Every Red Cent Eventually Dissipates, Extinguishing Savings
Nissan:Never In Synch Screeching Awful Noises
Oldsmobile: Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
Porsche: Proof Only Rich Suckers Can Have Everything
Toyota:Taking Our Yen Out -- Thanks All
Volvo: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
More Funny Jokes
The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS.
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES.
The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read...
It was opening night at the Orpheum theater and the Amazing Eileen was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do her stuff.
As the Amazing Eileen took to the stage, she announced, "Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."
The excitement was almost electric as the Amazing Eileen withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from her coat.
"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. Its been in my family for six generations."
She began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch.... ".
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.
Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
"Shit" said the hypnotist.
It took three weeks to clean up the theatre.
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here.
She may be your grandmother!
Rags to Riches Business:
Success is relative
More the success, more the relatives.
We need your heads to run our business.
Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough - or else they never will be.
Its God's responsibility to forgive the terrorists.
It's our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and God.