Where is God
Two brothers in a small town were well-known as trouble makers. If there was a problem in town, these boys were guaranteed to be there. Their parents finally decided to do something about it.
They called on the priest. He was known to have success in dealing with problematic behavior. He agreed to see them, but only one at a time.
The younger brother went first. He walked in and the priest asked him, "Where is God?" in a mild voice.
The younger brother just sat there. The priest asked again, "Where's God?" The boy again just sat there.
The priest tried once more, in a very annoyed and angered voice, "Tell me son, WHERE IS GOD?'
Terrified, the boy ran out of the room and straight to his room at home, where he hid under the bed. His older brother came in and asked what was wrong.
The younger boy said, "We are in big trouble this time. God is missing, and they think we did it!"
More Funny Jokes
According to a report, a middle school was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the restroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all of the girls to the restroom and met them there with the maintenance man.
She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance guy to clean one of them. He took a long handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and then cleaned the mirror.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirrors.
A young Marine and his commanding officer board a train headed through the mountains of Switzerland. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.
After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young soldier are interested in each other because they are giving each other "looks." Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of the smack of a kiss followed by the sound of the smack of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word.
The grandmother is thinking to herself: "It was very brash for that young soldier to kiss my granddaughter, but I`m glad she slapped him."
The commanding officer is setting there thinking: "I didn`t know the young Marine was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn`t missed him when she slapped and hit me!"
The young woman was sitting and thinking: "I`m glad the soldier kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!"
The young Marine sat there with a satisfied smile on his face, He thought to himself: "Life is good. When does a fellow have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his commanding officer all at the same time!"
It is a known fact that all daughters-in-law have problems with their mother-in-law.
Anyway... One day all the daughters-in-law all got together and decided to apologise to their mothers-in-law for everything they had supposedly done wrong.
A week later the daughters-in-law decided to take their families (including their mothers-in-law) on a picnic.
The mothers-in-law were all in one bus, which was the first to leave, On the way their bus had an accident and all the mothers-on-law died.
The daughters-in-law were devastated but one in particular one was more heart broken than the rest.
Everyone tried to console her by telling her that at least her mother-in-law had died without any tension between them. But still she cried.
Eventually when she was calm enough to speak the other women asked her, "Why are you crying so much? Was your mother-in-law that special?"
The woman no sobbing uncontrollably replied... "No, she missed the bus!"