One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get outta here. "The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor, it was the Japanese".
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg. In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship.
"Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me." The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."
More Celebrity Jokes
Hillary Clinton went in for her yearly check-up. When it was finished, she asked her doctor, "How is everything."
He responded, "I'm very pleased and you are in great shape, and happy to announce that you are pregnant."
"No way!" she exclaimed.
He assured, "You are most definitely pregnant."
She stormed out of the examining room, grabbed the receptionist's phone and dialed the private line to the Oval Office.
Bill answered the phone and she shouted, "I can't believe it! I'm pregnant! You got me pregnant!"
The president didn't say anything, so she continued to scream, "Didn't you hear me? I'm pregnant! You got me pregnant!"
Hesitantly, the president said, "Um...Who IS This?"
Titanic Video vs Clinton Video
TITANIC VIDEO: $9.99 on Internet.
CLINTON VIDEO: $9.99 on Internet.
TITANIC VIDEO: Over 3 hours long.
CLINTON VIDEO: Over 3 hours long.
TITANIC VIDEO: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe.
CLINTON VIDEO: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe.
TITANIC VIDEO: Villain: White Star Line.
CLINTON VIDEO: Villain: Ken Starr.
TITANIC VIDEO: Jack is a starving artist.
CLINTON VIDEO: Bill is a B.S. artist.
TITANIC VIDEO: In one part, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
CLINTON VIDEO: Ditto for Bill.
TITANIC VIDEO: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
CLINTON VIDEO: Ditto for Monica.
TITANIC VIDEO: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
CLINTON VIDEO: Let's not go there.
TITANIC VIDEO: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
CLINTON VIDEO: Monica's forced to return her gifts.
TITANIC VIDEO: Behind the scenes: Leonardo DiCaprio is wildly popular.
CLINTON VIDEO: Behind the scenes: Bill Clinton's approval rating is at 70 percent.
TITANIC VIDEO: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
CLINTON VIDEO: Bill goes home to Hillary.
Question: Why did Michael Jackson get arrested by the cops?
Answer: He unzipped his Billy Jeans, pulled out his Thriller, and told the cops to Beat It!