Anger Management

Anger Management

Dad to son: when I beat u how do you control your anger?

Son: I start cleaning toilet

Dad: How does that satisfy you?

Son: I clean it with your toothbrush...

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Share 50-50

A young man watched an elderly couple sit down to lunch at a restaurant. He noticed that they had ordered one meal and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the old man carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries - one for him, one for her, until each had an even number.

Then the old man poured half the soft drink into the extra cup and set it in front of his wife. The old man began to eat and his wife sat watching with her hands folded in her lap.

The young man hesitated, then approached the couple and asked if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they wouldn't have to split theirs.

The old man said, "Oh no. We've been married for 50 years, and everything has always been, and always will be shared 50-50."

The young man asked the old woman if she was going to eat. "Later," she replied. "It's his turn with the teeth."

Scribble on Paper

In a big family the young army uncle brought home a friend from Army duty for holiday lunch. The friend had too many visible tattoos on his body.

All members sat down around the dining table with visitor, the four-year-old nephew couldn't take his eyes off the man's colorful pictured arms.

Finally his curiosity settled, and in a moment of silence around, he politely asked the guest "Didn't your mother give you a paper to write on?"

Voicemail Message

I recently dialed a wrong number and got the following recording:

"I am not available right now, but I thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

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