High Telephone Bills
The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting.
Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone I use the one at the office.
Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.
Maid: So what is the problem? We all use our work telephones!
More Funny Jokes
Dad to son: when I beat u how do you control your anger?
Son: I start cleaning toilet
Dad: How does that satisfy you?
Son: I clean it with your toothbrush...
A young man watched an elderly couple sit down to lunch at a restaurant. He noticed that they had ordered one meal and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the old man carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries - one for him, one for her, until each had an even number.
Then the old man poured half the soft drink into the extra cup and set it in front of his wife. The old man began to eat and his wife sat watching with her hands folded in her lap.
The young man hesitated, then approached the couple and asked if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they wouldn't have to split theirs.
The old man said, "Oh no. We've been married for 50 years, and everything has always been, and always will be shared 50-50."
The young man asked the old woman if she was going to eat. "Later," she replied. "It's his turn with the teeth."
In a big family the young army uncle brought home a friend from Army duty for holiday lunch. The friend had too many visible tattoos on his body.
All members sat down around the dining table with visitor, the four-year-old nephew couldn't take his eyes off the man's colorful pictured arms.
Finally his curiosity settled, and in a moment of silence around, he politely asked the guest "Didn't your mother give you a paper to write on?"