Lack of Evidence
Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived.
The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed.
The case was closed for lack of evidence.
More Lawyer Jokes
One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man. "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "Oh, well, you can come with me to my house," instructed the lawyer.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me." "Bring them along," replied the lawyer. He turned to the other man and said, "You come with us too".
"But sir, I have a wife and six children," the second man answered. "Bring them as well," answered the lawyer as he headed for his limo. They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as a limo.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll love my place, the grass is almost a foot tall."
A man walks into a bar. He sees a good looking, smartly dressed woman perched on a bar stool.
He walks up behind her and says: "Hi there good looking, how's it going?"
She turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says: "Listen, I'll screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, it doesn't matter. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college. I just flat out love it."
He says: "No kidding?, I'm a lawyer too! What firm are you with?"
Q. Whats the difference between an lawyer and a dog?
A. Drivers will swerve to miss the dog.
Q. Whats the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A. The lawyer charges more.
Q. Why did God invent lawyers?
A. So that realtors would have someone to look down on.