How Burglar Did
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
"You'll get your chance in court," said the Desk Sergeant.
"No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying for years."
More Marriage Jokes
Ask any man, and he will tell you that any woman's ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once.
While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, it appears that most men do not realize that in this fantasy, one is cooking and the other is cleaning.
Adam and Eve must have had a great marriage. Adam couldn't talk about his Mother's cooking, and Eve couldn't mention all the men she could/should have married.
A woman was chatting with her next-door neighbor. "I feel really good today. I started out this morning with an act of unselfish generosity. I gave a twenty dollar bill to a bum."
"You gave a bum twenty whole dollars? That's a lot of money to just give away. What did you husband say about it?"
"Oh, he thought it was the proper thing to do. He said, 'Thanks.'"