Bible Says

Wife: "Why can't my mother move in with us?"
Husband: "Because the Bible says I can't!"
Wife: "Show me where it says that!"
Husband: "Right here, see. No man can serve two masters!"

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Message to Husband

A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer in charge looked at the photograph she handed him, questioned her, and then asked if she wished to give her husband any message if they found him.

"Yes," she quickly replied. "Tell him mother didn't come after all."

On Anniversary

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

She said, "Somewhere I have never been!"

I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

How Burglar Did

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

"You'll get your chance in court," said the Desk Sergeant.

"No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying for years."

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