Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet, "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail."
The vet stepped back, "Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?"
"Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome."
More Marriage Jokes
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
A man said his credit card was stolen, but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
Rex's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company. Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty-thousand and I want my money."
The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth."
There was a long pause before Susan replied, "Then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband."