In Plane English
The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me."
"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "You're lazy."
"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."
More Medical Jokes
Patient:Doctor I want to undergo a 'by-pass surgery', what is the probability of success?
Patient:But how can you be so sure of acheiving 100% success?
Doctor: On the day of Convocation, my prof. told me that when you practise medicine chances of failure will be 99% and success 1%.
I have already attended 99 patients (failed to cure them) and you are the 100th!!
Morris goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my young wife has turned into a real bad woman.
Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. She sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy, Doc! What do you think I should do?"
"Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"
A man walks into the dentist office and lies in the chair... The dentist comes in and proceeds to do an examination. In the middle of the exam, the man tells the dentist and apologizes that he has just had lunch and did not have time to brush his teeth before the appointment as he was running a bit late.
The dentist tells him : "That's ok. I understand. I just had to use the bathroom and didn't have time to wash my hands."