Santa and Preeto had just got married. It was their wedding night in a five star hotel. Preeto was lying on her back on the bed in an incredible shimmering silky negligee, "Take me Santa. Take me now!"
Santa being a virgin and very good boy didn't have the faintest idea what to do next, suddenly he had a brilliant idea. He dashed out of the room and went to reception to ring his mom for advice.
Her advice was to put the hardest part of his body into where Preeto pees. Santa was a bit dubious about this but his mother assured him that Preeto would love it.
Santa came back in to the bedroom triumphantly, asked Preeto if she was ready.
Preeto shouted, "Yes, Yes, I'm ready!"
Then she watched in amazement as Santa ran into the bathroom and put his head down the toilet.
More Sardar Jokes
Banta was a carpenter on a building site, he rushed up to the site engineer. "Sir, Sir!" he cried, "Someone just dropped a knife from the top of the scaffold and sliced my ear off!"
The site engineer immediately organized a search party to find the ear in the hope that micro-surgeon would be able to sew it on again, if it was well-preserved in ice and taken immediately to the hospital in a thermos flask.
"Here it is!" cried one of the searchers, waving an ear.
"No, that's not it," said the injured Banta, "mine had a pencil behind it!
A Priest dies and is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates. Ahead of him is a guy, nattily dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.
Lord Dharamraj asks him: Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not?
The guy replies: I am Banta Singh, taxi driver from New Delhi!
Lord Dharamraj consults his ledger, smiles & says to Banta Singh: Please take this silken robe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven .
Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a booming voice: I am Sant Shiromani Baba so & so, Head Priest of the so & so Temple for the last 40 years.
Lord Dharamraj consults his ledger and says to the Priest: Please take this cotton robe and enter the Kingdom of Heaven .
'Just a minute,' says the agonized Priest. How is that a foul mouthed, rash driving Taxi Driver is given a Silken robe and a Golden scarf and me, a Priest, who's spent his whole life preaching your Name and goodness has to make do with a Cotton robe?
'Results my friend, Results,' shrugs Lord Dharamraj.
While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his taxi, people PRAYED.
Moral: It's PERFORMANCE and NOT POSITION + EDUCATION that ultimately counts!
Interviewer : What's your qualification?
Banta Singh : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewer : What do you mean by Ph.d?
Banta : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.