'Before we get married,' said a man to his fiancee,'I want to confess some affairs I've had in the past.'

'But you told me all about those a couple of weeks ago,' replied the girl.

'Yes, darling,' man explained, 'but that was a couple of weeks ago.'

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In Restaurant

In a restaurant, a man ordered soup but, as soon as it arrived, he had to go to the bathroom. To make sure that nobody touched his soup while he is away, he wrote on a napkin: "I SPIT IN THE SOUP".

When he returned, he found another message on napkin: "ME, TOO".

Driving Backwards

On a narrow mountain road a man sees a police car driving uphill backwards.
- Hi guys. Why are you driving backwards?
- Because we are not sure that we will find a place to make a u-turn on the top of the mountain.
After one hour the same man sees the same police car driving downhill backwards again.
- But guys, why are you driving backwards again?
- We found a place to make a u-turn up there.

Who will take the money

Santa Claus, one smart and one stupid policeman are walking together when they spot a hundred dollars on the ground. Who will take the money?
The stupid policeman, since Santa Claus and the smart policeman don't exist.

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